EAT YOUR NOM NOMS!

Any fan of spicy, frequent painful trips to the bathroom and kicking it up a notch in general must be salivating right now. This Gallon Tabasco Jug ($38.95) holds a majestic 3.8 liters of the iconic fiery pepper sauce. You can jazz up your pizza and you'll still have enough to take a bubble bath in this stuff.

Another plus: no more fighting over the dinky 2 oz. bottle. For an extra $6, you can even get it with a personalized label up to 20 characters.